Maybe Never, Maybe Forever
by CrystalColored
Summary: Remember the first chapter occurs before Bella has figured out Edward is a vampire.  Note:  I do not own these characters.  I focused out to look at the face, it was Edward Cullen.  A scream ripped through the air, I was vaguely aware that it was mine.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: My first Fanfiction. Please tell me if the characters are OOC. The quote is from page 55 of the paperback Twilight. Had to use it to tell what is going on.**_

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_Chapter 1:_

_It was a high-pitched screech, and it was fast becoming painfully loud. I looked up, startled._

_I saw several things simultaneously. Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in the movies. Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make my brain work much faster, and I was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once (Twilight page 55)._

I saw some people in the parking lot looking in horror; the Cullens were standing by their car. Wait where was Edward? Then I saw it, the dark blue van skidding across the icy parking area, the brakes screeched as it made an attempt to stop. It was going to hit the back end of my truck, and I was between the two.

The van collided with the truck, I did not even have time to react all I knew was this was it. This was the end.

The first thoughts were of Renee and Charlie, how were they going to handle this? What about Tyler, I hope he does not blame himself for it.

I felt the van hit me, my back slammed against my truck. The van shifted and turned against me. I slipped from between the two and my head hit the cold ground. The last thing I saw was Edward running forward, a look of absolute shock and fear on his beautiful face. Everything went black.

EPOV

I heard Alice's thoughts from the front door of the main building. I had tried again to get out of my Biology class but it did not work. _The van is going to hit her!_

I took off. My only thoughts were, please not her, anyone but her. The blue van hit the back end of her truck and I heard the snapping of bones. I was too late.

My instincts told me to turn and run. I pressed on. Someone had finally had enough sense to call an ambulance, frightened thoughts flashed through my head from the other students but I pushed it to the back of my mind.

At that very moment I could not have been gladder that I was what I was. If I had been human I surely would have slipped by now.

Finally I reached the truck and van. I did not think I only acted. Quickly I pushed the van off of Bella. It slid away as easily as it had become out of control.

I held my breath. The sweet venom seeping into my mouth. Blood covered the icy area around her head. She would be lucky if all of her ribs were not broken. I could see that her lungs had collapsed but she was breathing but it was shallow.

I began to panic. She can not die, she just could not die. I feared the ambulance would not get here on time. Everyone was trying to get to Tyler who was trapped in the van. Most had not seen Bella between the two.

I knew what I had to do but I could not do it. The ambulance pulled up and boys started to pull the van farther away from Bella. They tried to put me on a stretcher thinking I had been involved but I told them I was fine. I wanted her to get there as soon as possible.

They finally loaded her onto a stretcher and it took me a minute to gather myself. Before they could close the doors I slipped into the back with Bella.

The person back there looked at me confused. I managed to say, "I'm her boyfriend and I will not leave her," in one breath and did not breath in enough to make me inhale her scent.

He only nodded and tried to stabilize her breathing. It was becoming shallower as the seconds ticked by.

She is not going to make it. I could not push the thoughts from my mind. I did not want to believe it. She could not die. It was not right if she did.

After what seemed like eternity the ambulance pulled up to the hospital. Carlisle was there as soon as it pulled up.

_Edward? Why are you here?_ He seemed rather shocked.

"Bella Swan," I pointed at her, "she was hit by a van, her breathing is shallow."

He nodded,_ go outside and get away from her scent. We can't have anything happen here._

I nodded and ran my fingers through my hair. Probably faster than human speed I ran outside and inhaled deeply. Please Carlisle, save her.

After I gained my composure I walked, at human speed, back into the hospital.

I found Carlisle hovering over Bella. "How is she?"

His features were sunken and he pulled me into another room. "She has internal bleeding, I, I don't think I can stop it."

"No, no, no!" My fingers raked through my hair. "Is there anyway?"

He shook is head; _do you truly want to save her?_

My eyes widened with realization at what he was talking about, "I don't want her to be a monster."

"It's the only way Edward, she is going to die." His features held nothing but concern. "There is no other way."

"I don't want our family put at risk," really I wanted more than anything to save her.

"I'm not asking about our family, I'm asking: do you want her to live?"

My head I tried to find some kind of reason not to turn her. My unbeating heart screamed for me to just say yes and go with any plan Carlisle came up with. My heart won for once, I nodded. If I could have cried tears would have been streaming down my face.

_Okay, she is going to be pronounced dead in a few minutes. I'm going to put her in the morgue. We'll figure out a way to explain everything later. Do you want to bite or should I?_

I shuddered at the question, "I don't know if I could handle it."

_I think you could. You wanted me to save her for what reason I am not fully aware of. You may not still be fully aware of it even yet. We have a little while so make your decision._

I nodded.

BPOV

I did not know what was happening. I tried to take a deep breath but it would not come. I tried to move but it only shot pain through my every cell. I did not even have the energy to open my eyes.

If this was supposed to be Heaven, well then it sucks. If it is Hell, well then it sucks too. I would rather live than have to deal with this for the rest of eternity, or however long I stayed here.

I heard voices, someone was whispering but I only picked up a few words. Things like, "she was so young," "why her," and "I tried everything" was the last thing I heard, it sounded like it came from an angel in a musical tune.

Then I heard another voice, the other one had nothing on this voice it was like, like perfection. Soft and melodic, "what's the plan?" "Does she have that long?" "Okay," this time he was, depressed? Someone with that kind of voice should not be depressed but I continued to listen, "I'll do it but if I go too far you're going to have to pull me off her."

Something cold touched my arm and I felt a cool breath next to my ear, "You will live Bella," then the voice was gone.

EPOV

I walked around the hospital after I talked with Carlisle, somehow this felt like my fault. I should have been there to save her instead of acting like a baby and trying to change out of my class when clearly there was no way I could do that.

"She doesn't deserve to have to live like this. No one that tempting should. But maybe this will free me from my own personal doom. I really should not think that way but Alice is usually trying to get me to be optimistic. I guess this would be the perfect reason for her to hate the snow for all eternity," all of this was said to low and fast for any of the humans to hear me.

After about an hour of mindless wandering I did not think that I would be able to stay away any longer. I made my way back to Bella's room and found Carlisle speaking to one of the nurses. "I tried everything I could to save her but the internal bleeding was too much."

The nurse nodded and looked over at Bella's form sadly. Then she turned and walked out of the door barely even taking in the fact that I was there.

"What's the plan?"

_I already pronounced her dead. Her parents have been informed; I suggested a closed casket service because of the bleeding and being crushed._

I nodded as he spoke and ran a hand through my hair. "How long does she have?"

_Not long, she'll survive until tonight at least but there is no way she will recover from this. Most people at this point would just pull the plug. _Carlisle looked at me with saddened gold eyes, _have you made your decision? _

"Okay, I'll do it but if I go too far you're going to have to pull me off her." I even sensed the sadness in my own voice.

_I will try Edward, I promise if you go too far or I think you will I will do anything in my power to stop you._

Slowly, I walked over to her bedside. I touched her arm cautiously and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "You will live Bella." I stood up and I could almost swear that I saw the corners of her lips pull into a small smile on her pale face.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Author's Note: Not much to say, I'm really starting to get into writing this story. Sorry about the constant POV changes but it is needed. Note: I own nothing..._**

Chapter 2

EPOV

Carlisle was supposed to get off in an hour and I still was not aware of his full plan. The man can be a guineas, I just wish he would tell me what was going on.

I still have not been home, I know my "siblings" are furious with me. Well, maybe not Alice but I know Rose and Emmett are. I am just hoping that they can hold enough of their rage to keep Jasper from going insane.

The hum of my car's engine is relaxing. I could not stay at the hospital, it was too uncomfortable to go without breathing for that long. I wanted to stay by Bella though. Why that is I do not know. Maybe to wait until no one was there and drink her dry.

I thrust the thought from my mind. If I had wanted to drain her I could have done it the first day she walked into biology. I did not do it then and I would not do it now.

Street lights flashed by as I pulled into the back hospital parking lot. I was to wait here for Carlisle and Bella, I sighed pulling my fingers through my hair, like I had done a thousand times today.

"How is he going to get her out unnoticed?" His thoughts rang through my head then and I jumped slightly startled.

_I'm coming with her, have the car started. It looks like I'm taking her to the morgue and I already shut off the camera to this side of the building._

I reached and turned the key, my silver Volvo coming to life. A figure appeared in the door way and was carrying something. I held my breath. One because Bella was still bleeding and two I waited to see if anyone was going to follow Carlisle out of the hospital.

The back door to the car opened. Carlisle placed her body gently on the back seat and rushed, way faster than human speed, into the front seat.

"Go," that was all I needed before I was speeding out of the parking lot.

The drive went by in silence. Mainly because I could not talk without breathing. The small turn to the house came into view faster than I had hopped. I felt my stomach drop and fear rolled in like the daily clouds.

Alice came out the door with a look of worry on her face before I even had time to stop the car. I opened the door and stepped out, she pulled me into a hug.

_Everything will be alright. There were multiple outcomes to this, I'm glad it is this one._

"Wait you saw this?" I demanded.

Alice nodded sadly, "I saw it seconds before it happened, there was nothing any of us could have done to prevent it without at the time. I only saw some of the possible outcomes in advanced."

Carlisle came to us carrying Bella, "where are you going to change her?"

"I don't know. Somewhere somewhat filtered, and, Alice?"

"Yes Edward?"

"Could you take Jasper hunting while this goes on, I really don't want him to deal with this again."

_Couldn't he help Bella though? But I don't want him to have to feel the pain again, and I don't think he could help her too much if he had to battle that himself. I couldn't stand watching him deal with that._

"Alice!" she looked up, pulled from her worries. "I do not want him to deal with this either, please take him hunting. Also, I really do not want him straining to keep from attacking her while she is covered in blood."

"But-"

"I know he has gotten better but for him, I think it would be easier." She finally agreed and walked quickly with Carlisle and me into the house.

"I'm going to go take Jasper out the back," she kissed my cheek and hugged Carlisle before running to the living room where I could sense Jasper and Esme. Emmett and Rosalie were in thier room. I blocked out there thoughts, I really did not want to hear it.

_Up to your room?_ Carlisle questioned but had already started for the stairs before I had even answered. I followed him up and opened the door to my room.

The stars shined through the back part of my room that was a solid wall of glass. My CD collection on the left wall was a slight mess and my stereo sat in the corner.

Carlisle placed the still unconscious Bella on the black leather sofa. I dropped to my knees beside her limp form and brushed a piece of bloody hair from her beautiful face. He pulled away from her wrapped body, standing in the center of the thick carpeting.

_Are you ready Edward?_

"No, I'm not. I really do not have a choice do I. She will probably hate me when she wakes up though. I just hope she can forgive me and not completely hate herself. If she wants to leave or something I am not going to try to stop her." My voice sounded dead even to my own sensitive ears.

_You will never know if you do not save her, her heart is slowing. Maybe it may not take as long as some other transformations since she is almost dead._

I felt myself cringe at his thoughts. Although they were true I hated for them to be so. Again, I pushed her hair away from her face, glad that I did not have Rose and Emmett's thoughts of disapproval to distract me.

"Please forgive me," my lips brushed below her ear and moved down to her neck.

_Bite her more than once so it will spread faster._ I nodded and my teeth sank into the soft flesh of her neck.

Her blood filed my every sense. It was amazing I have never tasted anything so perfect. The thick red liquid slid down my throat as I gulped more. Something screamed for me to stop, now before I lost complete control. I did not want to listen, this was what I wanted, her perfect blood.

Someone gasped and I crashed back to reality. The gasp had come from Bella, her eyes looked like they might flutter open any second. I pulled away from her neck and waited a moment. They stayed closed.

I was breathing hard. A hand touched my shoulder, my head whipped around with a soft snarl. If I could have blushed I would have been red, Carlisle looked at me with understanding.

_It's alright Edward. You can do this, bite her again._

I sighed, sickened with myself. If Carlisle had not been there I probably would have killed Bella. Then we would really be in trouble. My family did not need to deal with that now, Esme and Carlisle would be so disappointed with me, Rose and Emmett and maybe Jasper would be furious with me, and Alice would shake her head and block her thoughts from me.

Carefully I lowered my head to the other side of her neck. I looked at the flawless flesh, venom seeping into my bloodied mouth. I pierced her neck, wary of the calling of her blood.

I pulled back and looked at her pale face. Her eyes would never again be that deep chocolate brown, her cheeks bright crimson with blush. I was the reason for her dying, becoming a monster.

Silently I hopped that she would hate me when she woke up, I deserved it. I should not have been trying to change my classes again, I should have been there, I should have saved her. I should have saved her from death, from becoming one of us. Doomed to roam for all eternity.

"Go get cleaned up Edward," I had not realized that I had been blocking out Carlisle's thoughts.

My eyes wandered to my body. My clothes were covered in her blood and so were my hands. I knew my face, or at least my mouth was too. I hung my head and made my way to my dresser in my closet before heading to the bathroom down the hall.

The hot water beat against my tense muscles and caused me to relax, some. I began to think, what happens now? "I guess it depends on how she reacts when she wakes up," I spoke so low that not even Carlisle could have heard me if we had been in a silent room and I was standing right next to him.

I reluctantly stepped out of the relaxing shower and dressed. It was then that my sensitive ears picked up a soft whimper. The whimper grew slowly to a surprised scream.

Sighing, I walked out of the bathroom back to my room. Bella squirmed as much as she could in the blanket that was wrapped around her. I knew part of the pain was from the venom pushing its way to her heart, the rest was probably from her injuries. I wished there was something I could do.

I blocked out Carlisle's thoughts, I did not wish to hear them. I did not know what I wanted. Well, that is not completely true, I wanted Bella to be free of this pain. No one should have to suffer this.

Carlisle sighed, realizing that I was ignoring him and walked out of the room, shutting the door to the outside world. Bella screamed a little more loudly, her eyes flew open but only for the briefest of minutes.

"Three days, just three days," Bella's screams continued.

I looked around the room, my eyes settling on my sound system. I reached for the remote and turned on Linkin Park's latest CD.

BPOV

"Please forgive me," something brushed below my ear, someone's lips? Then I felt something along my neck, and that is when the pain started.

I gasped, awake but unable to open my eyes. It felt like fire was spreading through the spot on my neck, but at the same time like my blood was being ripped from my body. Not to mention the pain that shot through my abdomen and lungs.

Something pulled away from my neck and then sank into the other side. The fire spread again. I sank into silence, unconsciousness I guess. Images flashed in front of my eyes.

_Mike walking me to class on my first day._

_Talking to Jessica about the Cullens._

The fire dulled for a moment, then it blazed more intently through my system. I tried to call out, to get someone to stop it. My lungs would not hold the breath. I was out of breath as if I had been screaming. I could feel my ribs moving, mending. My lungs changing and my heart slowing.

The images came faster now, I knew them but they seemed so distant, like seeing them from an outsider's eyes.

_Edward's eyes locking on mine._

_The picture of the five of them sitting secluded from everyone._

_My hair falling over my shoulder, like a wall._

_Edward's tensed figure, why did he hate me so?_

_Then, the dark blue van screeching towards me._

_Finally, the look of pure shock and fear on Edward's face. _

Then, everything went black. Suddenly my eyes shot open, I sat up with such speed that I thought for sure I was going to get a head rush, but it never came.

I looked up, only to find myself looking into onyx eyes. I focused out to look at the face, it was Edward Cullen. A scream ripped through the air, I was vaguely aware that it was mine.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Author's Note: A lot of POV changes this time. I don't own these characters._**

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Chapter 3

EPOV

It had been a very long three days. I was so glad that I had been able to convince Alice to take Jasper hunting. Her screams cut through my ears, I finally just put on a pair of headphones and turned up my music as loud as I could without blowing my eardrums.

Most of the time I sat looking at her or holding her hand. I felt responsible for her, I wanted to protect her. I could not do that. She had been hit by the van and was dying.

I was watching her when her eyes shot open. She sat up with enough speed to surprise me and send me backwards slightly. Once her eyes focused on me she looked scared, then she screamed.

I jumped forward and clapped my hand over her mouth, "Shhh, its alright, its alright."

She finally stopped screaming, I could see her eyes flashing towards the door, "Do not even think about it," I warned in what I hoped was a stern tone.

Bella glared at me and I involuntarily laughed. "What am I doing here?" she was a rather demanding person.

BPOV

His hand clapped over my mouth. "Shhh, its alright, its alright."

I began to search the room. Everything was different. More vivid, alive, like I was seeing everything for the first time. I shifted and could swear I felt the particles in the air move around me. The cotton fibers of my clothes seemed to be so noticeable that I could have counted them.

My eyes flashed to the door, "Do not even think about it," Edward warned.

I could only muster up a slight glare.

EPOV

I ran my fingers through my hair and looked around desperately. I really did not know how to tell her this. It was then that I remembered that I could now breathe, I inhaled deeply.

Her scent still hit me hard, my fists balled up and I forced myself to relax. When I looked up at her again she looked scarred.

"It is alright," I reached out, trying to calm her. She pushed herself so far away from me that she almost fell off of the couch.

After she regained her balance she demanded again, "why am I here?" It was a very forced calm.

"Carlisle," it was barely above normal speaking level but I knew he could hear me.

"Dr. Cullen? What does he have to do with this?" She was still rather shocked that she was here, I was still waiting for her hunger to hit her but I guess it was better that it hit her later rather than sooner.

Carlisle knocked on the door, his blond head peaked in then he stepped through. _Oh she's awake._

"Yeah, she's awake."

She turned to Carlisle. "Dr. Cullen can you _please_ explain what I am doing here and why Edward was hovering over me when I woke up."

"Isabella, I really do not know how to tell you this so I am going to be blunt. You're a vampire." Bella looked so shocked that she did not even correct her name.

Then she started laughing, "okay where are the cameras?"

"Isabella there aren't any cameras, don't you remember anything?"

"Not really, I remember a dark van and," this really surprised me, her cheeks turned pink. I glanced over at Carlisle, he looked as shocked as I felt.

"And…" I pushed her on.

"You running," she immediately looked down.

_It might still be too early for her to remember the accident._

I nodded, hoping she did not notice while she looked down. "Isabella? Would you please come to my office? You too Edward, it might make explaining easier."

Now that she was paying attention she corrected him to calling her Bella. I helped her off the couch but she looked reluctant to take my hand. Eventually she did and we walked, faster than human speed, to Carlisle's office.

We were at the door when I saw her fall forward. Instinctively it seemed like, my arms came up, wrapping around her waist. She blushed again when she figured out that I had kept her from tripping and she whispered a thank you before hurrying into Carlisle's office.

I reached out for her mind only to be frustrated, I still could not read it. My hand found its way to my hair again, stupid habit from when I was human.

I fell down into one of the chairs in Carlisle's office. Bella was already seated in the other looking rather uncomfortable. Carlisle sat behind his desk, his hands folded. From his thoughts he seemed to be trying to figure out a way to explain everything.

"Bella, I am going to tell you everything. I do not want you to interrupt me at any point. Please, save your remarks for later." Bella nodded numbly.

"You were hit by a van and crushed between your truck and the van. Most of your ribs were broken in multiple places and the rest at least fractured. Your lungs had pretty much collapsed from the impact."

Bella's eyes were wide, Carlisle continued on. "When you arrived at the hospital you were barely breathing. Bella, you were going to die. I pronounced you dead, to everyone in this town you are. You had a closed casket funeral at my request, that way we would not have to explain the missing body." It was then that Bella looked down at her clothes and gasped. I had forgotten about her blood covered clothes. If she could have cried she would have had tears crashing around her.

"Bella, we brought you here. We," I did not know whether to be relieved or not that he did not tell her at that moment that it was me, "turned you into a vampire so that you could continue to live. The only draw back is that you can never see any of your family again. Bella look at me," she had been eyeing the door again, "to everyone here, you are dead. I have a death certificate copy here if you want to see." He handed her the death certificate. I could swear that she paled, but that is not possible.

"Can I talk now," her voice was so small that we barely heard it. Carlisle nodded. "How is this possible? Vampires are not real, but then how else would you explain some of the strange events."

We looked at her perplexed. "Strange events?" I questioned.

"Well, you and your family always so secluded for one. Then the pale skin and yes I know I'm pale but it is like your skin is translucent. Your eyes," she looked up into my eyes for the first time that day, "your eyes change colors so quickly." She blushed. "Then as fast as you ran across the ice that, that day," Bella seemed to zone out.

After about a minute her eyes focused again, apparently realization hit her, "I'm, I'm dead. Tyler's van, it crushed me." She moved too quickly for me to catch her. She was up and out of the chair and staring, almost dumbstruck at us. "What about Charlie! Or Renee! Oh no, Tyler's going to blame himself for this! No!" Bella sank to the floor against the wall, her hands in her face.

The door beside her opened and Alice came in. I had not even heard them get back. Alice pulled Bella to her and I quickly scanned her mind. _I rushed back as soon as I saw this happen. Don't you dare blame yourself Edward! You saved her life, it will get better I promise. It is going to take her some time to get used to this idea._

Bella sobbed tearlessly against Alice's shoulder. I felt the outskirts of a calming wave and realized Jasper was in the room. His blond hair was slightly messy still from hunting but his clothes were not bloody, always a clean eater.

Bella managed to compose herself and looked up from Alice's shoulder, "I'm sorry. I should be glad that I'm alive, in a way." Alice laughed softly.

She stood up, slightly shaken. "May I speak to Dr. Cullen?"

"Carlisle please, and yes you may." He motioned for the rest of us to leave the room.

BPOV

I really had not idea what to think, I was a vampire. I was still embarrassed about my little break down. I needed to speak with Carlisle and was so glad that he said that I could talk to him alone.

Once everyone else had left I sat back down in the chair. My hand brushed some of the hair from my face. "What is it Bella?"

"Well, I really do not know what to do? What do I need to know? I mean now that I'm-" I, for some reason, could not say it out loud.

"Oh well, first things first we do not hunt humans. We hunt animals. Why is that?" He laughed before answering his own question, "because I found out that we could survive off of animal blood." I tried not to let him see the shiver that ran up my spine when he said that. I have never handled blood well, even when I had been to the hospital several times.

"There are six other members of the family. You know Edward, and if you didn't figure it out the small black haired one is Alice she can be a little, enthusiastic. The blond one that was in the room is Jasper, her husband." I blinked twice, trying to make sense of his words. Husband?

"I have another blond "child" Rosalie, and her husband is Emmett. My wife is Esme, the mother of the clan."

"I knew who they were but I had no idea that they were married!"

"Well, yes. One of the reasons why Rosalie and Jasper are said to be twins and their last name is technically Hale."

"Okay, are there any rules, I mean to being a vampire?"

"Only one, you cannot, under any circumstances tell anyone about us. Vampires that is."

Carlisle seemed to be a very caring man. I hoped his wife was just as caring. "So, where do I fit in?"

"You, my dear, can join our family if you so wish. I will give you time but when the others get out of school we are moving. I am afraid to say that you will not be able to attend because you are well, dead. Also, you cannot be around humans just yet. We can't have you attacking someone now can we?" his light attempt at humor worked, I laughed.

"Any other questions?"

"Um, yeah. How long has it been?"

"Three days."

"Three days," I whispered.

"Alice," the door opened, "why don't you get Bella into some new clothes and show her around the house. Answer any of her questions if you will I have to get to work."

"Alright," Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. I found myself in a rather large walk in closet and heard her say something about going shopping soon. Then I was pulled into a bedroom sized bathroom.


	4. Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

EPOV

She wanted to talk to Carlisle alone. I knew he probably did not want me listening in. What good could come of her talking to him alone? She hated what she was. I saw the look in her eyes when she realized what she had become. She hates herself, what she is, and she hates me.

It took everything I had not to slam my fist through the wall. Esme really would not be happy with me then. Jasper sent a calming wave in my direction but I only glared at him. Alice looked at me curiously but then got the message. I had turned Bella into a monster and I hated myself for it.

_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, don't you dare start hating yourself for this. You saved her I told you that, she doesn't hate you._

Her thoughts only worsened my mood. Before I could think I was down the stairs and out the door. I had not even bothered to put on my shoes or stop to get my car keys. I just ran. I desperately needed to be alone, to think without Jasper trying to make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

No, I really did not need him doing that. He means well but I created a monster, she hates what she is. Bella would have rather died than become a vampire; I could see it when she looked at me, accusing me of ruining her.

I had finally come to the woods; it had seemed like forever running just from the house to here. I ran noiselessly for who knows how long. That is, until I came to the meadow, this was my place to think.

My feet stopped in the middle and I sank to the ground. "What have I done? Why was I so determined to save her?" I fell back so that I was lying on my back, my hands over my face.

Self loathing filled me. I stopped breathing, my hands dropped to my sides and I watched the clouds swirl above me. The rain started light.

"Great," but what else did I expect, this was Forks, it always rain. That was our reason for living here.

The rain now pounded around me. I closed my eyes, wishing it could wash away everything. I forced myself to breathe again, it was becoming rather uncomfortable. With everything wet it only enhanced the way everything smelled.

The trees, the grass, and the scent of deer two miles off. I did not feel like hunting though, I wished that I had been able to keep her from getting hit or just let her die. Maybe then she would never have become a vampire.

I continued to sit in the rain, unmoving, letting the rain wash over me, waiting for it to turn to snow.

BPOV

Alice shoved me into the bathroom and told me to take a shower; she seemed distracted, if not worried. I figured she probably would not tell me what is wrong; it probably was none of my business.

I made the shower as fast as possible but I had to turn it up all the way. I really hoped that I did not use up all of the hot water. It took me a couple of times to wash all of the blood out of my hair. I could not help but smile, they had my shampoo. I inhaled the deep scent of strawberries as I washed my hair for about the third time.

"So," I whispered, "I'm a vampire." It had finally sunk in, I was no longer human. "What happens now? I don't know what it means to be a vampire, other than the blood drinking thing." I shuddered again; I did not know how I was going to deal with that.

Once I was dried and dressed I toweled through my hair. That was when I realized how long it was. My hair was waist length. I blinked several times and then, sort of in a shocked state, I walked out to find Alice sitting on a bed with a purple comforter.

When she saw that I was out she skipped over to me, but she had been looking rather distressed just a second ago. Without speaking she pulled me over to the closet which had a full length mirror on the door.

A gasp escaped me, not only was my hair longer but it was also darker, my eyes were a wild red, my skin even paler than before. My lips were fuller and redder, everything about me had changed. I still looked like me but, I looked more like I belonged in a magazine than as my own reflection.

A smile appeared on Alice's face. "Well? What do you think?"

"Wow," that was all I could say.

She giggled before pulling me into a hug. If I had been human the hug surely would have killed me. "Want to meet the rest of the family, well Esme anyway?"

I swallowed and nodded. She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the flights of stairs. We came to what I presumed was the kitchen, but it appeared as if it had never been used.

There was a woman wiping down the counters. She had light brown hair, and when she turned to look at us I saw that her face was of a heart shape. She smiled sweetly, she had to be Esme, and she seemed to be so motherly.

"Hello there dear," she put the cloth down a approached me cautiously.

"Hey," I reached for her outstretched hand.

"I'm Esme, if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask."

"Thank you very much." I really did not know what to say.

She turned to Alice, "Alice, you need to go find him," her expression was stern.

"Esme, he hasn't decided where he wants to go. I can't find him." Alice's face became blank. She looked like she was going to fall over but she did not. She seemed to come back, if it could be called that.

"I don't recognize where he is but I saw the way he ran." Her voice was quiet.

I was rather confused at the moment. Who were they talking about? Who is missing? Many questions raced through my mind but I never got the chance to ask them.

"You have to find Edward, we need to bring him to his senses," she sound extremely upset that he was gone.

I thought back, Edward had disappeared? That is when I thought back, he had not been there when I had gotten out of Carlisle's office. Where had he gone?

"I think I need to take Bella with me," I blinked as she said this.

"Why?" Esme and I asked at the same time.

"She is probably the only one who can convince him to come home." Esme apparently got it but I did not.

She nodded, "go get him then please."

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me out the front door. The air was heavy from the rain that fell hours ago. I guess it was just my improved senses.

She did not let go of my hand as she led me into the woods. "Um, Alice?" She looked back at me, "where are we going?"

"Oh, sorry. Edward is being, well Edward. He thinks that you think that you are a monster now and blames himself. He thinks that you would have preferred to die rather than become a vampire. Edward has always had problems with self loathing," this caused her to looked aggravated for a moment and then she sighed.

At first I almost laughed but then I realized she was being serious. He had just saved my life and now he hated himself. He was insane; yes I was a little scared of what I had become. I did not know how I was going to deal with the blood issue but I was glad to be alive, undead anyway.

I too sighed and looked around. The area where the house was was all icy but I really did not notice the cold. That is when I realized that I did not have a jacket on. I almost laughed. So many changes just to be able to live.

"Alright so what am I supposed to do?"

"Convince him otherwise."

"Wha-How am I to do that? I mean I don't even really know anything about being a vampire."

She put her hands on my shoulders, "you have to. He believes that he is such a monster and there is nothing that any of us can do to convince him otherwise." That is when she grabbed my hand again and pulled me into the trees.

I swallowed hard; me and forests really did not get along well. Then Alice started running, I kept up easily but the speed was phenomenal.

Abruptly Alice stopped. Again, she looked like she was going to fall over but she did not. Then she cursed. "He left the spot, I can't place him now," she let out a few more curses before she slowly turned around and slowly, for a vampire, walked back towards the house.

I stood there for a moment, what should I do? I decided to just follow her back not really knowing where Edward was and I would probably get lost on the way back without Alice.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to those who reviewed and those who are reading!

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Chapter 5

BPOV

I really had no clue what to do. Alice was already back upstairs with Jasper when I got into the house. Esme was still cleaning so I decided to help clean the already spotless kitchen.

I was glad that she did not try to make conversation, it was just the occasional instructions but other than that she left me to my thoughts. The sun was disappearing from the sky and I went to explore the house.

In the first room, near the front door, I found a piano and thought of Renee and her attempts to get me to play. As I made my way into the living room I found that it held a lot of seating areas plus a massive selection of video games and consoles. There was not much to separate the two rooms, they might as well have been one room. I looked to the back of the house and gazed straight through. Quite literally, the back of the house appeared to be completely made of glass.

After getting over that I made my way up the dangerous looking stairs. I was so proud of myself; I managed to get all the way up the stairs without tripping.

I celebrated too soon; I was about halfway to the first door when my feet slipped from under me. I fell with a crash onto the floor. One of the doors opened and a massive man came out. He had curly black hair and it took me a minute to remember his name. Emmett took in me scattered on the floor and burst out laughing.

My cheeks flamed as I carefully tried to straighten myself out. A gorgeous girl came out of the room behind him. Rosalie looked up at Emmett.

"Emmett what's so funny?" Then she saw me and rolled her eyes before walking back into the room.

I finally managed to stand and Emmett came over, trying to calm his laughter.

"Hey Bella," he pulled me to him. "Welcome to the family. Still as clumsy as you were as a human." This caused him to laugh again.

If I had been human his bone crushing hug would have been just that bone crushing. It did not take me long to figure out that vampires are a lot more durable that humans.

"I better get back to Rose, I really don't want her mad at me," he looked almost sorry that he was leaving. He probably wanted to see me fall again.

I attempted a smile, it worked and he walked back off into his room still laughing slightly.

Just then pain shot through me and Alice and Jasper came out of their room. I doubled over. It felt like I had been starved, unable to eat for months.

Alice looked at me and then Jasper whispered something to her. A smile graced her pixie features and she ran off in another direction. Jasper came over and the pain eased.

I managed to stand up. Jasper looked at me with understanding and came over to me.

"To be honest with you I did not think that it would take this long." Apparently I looked puzzled because he continued, "you need to feed, Alice and I'll take you, Carlisle is at work and since Edward isn't here he can't go with you."

I stared at him almost horrified, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this was coming but I really was not looking forward to it. Alice came back and grabbed my hand and Jasper's. She pulled me along but walked beside Jasper.

Once out in the woods a breeze blew past me and the most delicious scent came my way. I crouched, and then looked at myself confused. Alice's hand appeared on my shoulder and she nodded her head in approval.

I just let my instincts take over, Alice and Jasper ran right behind me all the way. I came to an area where deer were feeding. Something sweet slid down my throat. They did not even notice us but I had no clue what to do now.

I looked over at Alice who smiled and whispered to Jasper who motioned for me to watch.

He gracefully dropped into a crouch, his blond hair in his eyes slightly. One of the deer walked away from the group and continued to feed. Jasper pounced then, I heard the sickening crack and knew that he had just broken the deer's neck. He fell down and I could see him drink from the beast.

I felt like I was going to faint or be sick. That is until the scent of the warm blood hit me. Alice motioned for me to go forward. Even in the dark I could clearly see the deer.

I fell into the crouch position and targeted one of the poor creatures. Then I heard a crack and the moving of hooves. I had not even realized that I had attacked the thing. My mouth dropped to the limb body and I felt my, I shuddered slightly when I realized this, fangs sink into its flesh.

The blood flowed into my mouth and I drank deeply. It was warm and wonderful. When I finished I stood and looked down at the corpse, my knees buckled. I had killed something, not only killed it but drained it of its blood.

A hand turned me around; it was Jasper, his lips and around his mouth was red. I suddenly felt rather calm and he wrapped his arms gently around me. I did not cry but I wanted to.

"It will take some getting used to but you have to do it," this was barely a whisper.

All I did was nod before he let go and told me that I would need to hunt more than that. I began to run and drained a few animals, trying to feel any remorse for the animals. Finally I felt a little less than satisfied, like there was something missing. I ignored it and made my way back to where Jasper and Alice were sitting.

They got up wordlessly and only smiled when I said thank you. Not another word was said on the way back to the house.

Immediately Alice told me to go change and get cleaned up. I looked down at myself and noticed that I was covered in blood. I laughed slightly and she handed me some clean clothes.

My shower was much quicker than my other one because luckily I did not get any blood in my hair. This time though it was not in Alice's room but a different bathroom. I did not mind, Jasper probably needed one too. That was reason number two for it being shorter; I wanted Jasper to be able to get a hot shower too.

I saw dawn peaking through the clouds. I pulled a chair up to the large window in the room I was to use and pulled my knees up to my chest, resting my chin on them and there I watched the sun slowly creep up the trees.

A knock came a little while later, I had tried to sleep but gave up, I knew I should be exhausted but for some reason I just could not rest.

"You weren't trying to sleep were you?" it was Alice.

I lifted my head and she danced over to me, "actually yeah but I just couldn't get to sleep."

This sent her laughing, what was so funny about that? My question was quickly answered, "sorry I shouldn't laugh, guess no one told you. Vampires can't sleep."

It took me a moment to register what she had just said, "what else can't vampires do? Not go out in the sun?" I meant this to be a joke.

"Not unless you want to reveal what we are to all of Forks."

"Yeah I would expect that they would hear my screams of pain," this sent her doubling over from laughter. "What?" I demanded.

"We don't get burned by the sun," this seemed to be very difficult for her to say between laughing, her hand came to rest on the bare white wall.

"Really?"

"Yeah, you'll find out but the clouds are covering the sun," she pointed out the glass area that was the back of the house.

"Now come on, you ready to go get some of your things?"

Really I was not but I still said yes, I knew Charlie would already be at work even though I had no idea what time it was.

She led me back into the woods and we came to the back of my house. Alice climbed up the tree and held out her hand to me. I swallowed hard and began to climb up. She helped me half of the way up but I had no idea how we supposed to get in.

Then Alice jumped, grabbing my, I swallowed the lump in my throat, windowsill, pushed the window open before motioning for me to do the same. I shook my head and she glared.

I figured it would be better to risk falling rather than face Alice's wrath. I jumped and surprised myself when I grabbed the top part of the window and swung in.

My room was exactly as I had left it, slightly messy with some books haphazardly arranged on the shelves. I did not know what to take.

"Grab anything that can't be replaced, like all these books, you want me to take an inventory?"

"Yes please." She pulled out a notebook pad and started jotting things down.

I walked around collecting photo albums and anything else to let me remember what I was like as a human. Then, when Alice was done with my books she handed me the pad and I quickly took down a list of my CDs and DVDs.

I sobbed tearlessly, something else vampires can not do is cry. She motioned that we needed to leave just as I heard the cruiser pull up, Charlie had come home for lunch, probably left his here or something.

We jumped out the window and Alice closed it, I looked back one more time at the house I would probably never see again. That house symbolized my humanity, and that no longer existed.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry this took a little bit longer than some of my other chapters, if you want a full excuse you can look on my page but otherwise on to the next chapter.

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Chapter 6

EPOV

I ran, again. She caused me to run, I could not face her, I had turned her into something she hated.

I knew I had to keep running and continue to go to unfamiliar places or else Alice would surely find me. Right now I could not look at any of them. They thought that I had done the right thing but they were wrong.

My clothes were wrinkled from being sun dried and the bottoms slightly torn. I really could care less.

Branches and trees whipped past me as I rushed by, not knowing where I was going. I did not care, as long as Alice could not tell where I was and I did not run into anyone.

I would have to go back, I could not let my guilt get to me. I had turned Bella, she was, in a way, my responsibility. I was the one that wanted to save her.

I stopped running, the sun dropping in the sky. This was ridiculous, I should not be running. Yes, I had turned her into a monster but if she really did not want to be around me then she can leave, it is my home. I want to be there and if she does not then she does not have to.

I had not known how long I had been running only that I had avoided staying anywhere too long. I had hunted as well, just incase I should come across a human on my journey.

Slowly, I turned and walked at vampire speed back the way I came. Hopefully Alice would not see me coming; I still needed to figure out what I was going to say.

BPOV

It had been a week since my transformation and I was still not used to things. I had found out that Alice could see the future and Jasper could control people's feelings as well as tell what they are feeling. That had been why I had suddenly felt calm.

The Cullens had accepted me with open arms. That was except Rosalie, she still kept her distance and Jasper seemed really cautious around me. Emmett was constantly laughing at me for falling all of the time and my blushing. Carlisle did not seem to know why I still blushed, it did not seem to be going away like he thought it would.

Alice was quickly becoming my best friend. She was always so full of energy even when I could catch her looking slightly depressed, Jasper told me it was because she missed Edward and was worried.

Edward, my thoughts circled around him from time to time. No one knew when he would be back and, like before, it felt like he had left because of me. It seemed so egotistic that I would affect him like that but the feeling would not leave me alone.

Alice went shopping and came back with what must have been twenty bags in the time it would have taken me to go through three stores she had gone through seven. I was so grateful when she had replaced some of my books and CDs, she had even gotten me a CD player. Unfortunately she would not tell me how much everything cost so I could pay her back. I knew it had to be a lot of money and I really did not want them spending money on me.

Most of my time was spent in my new room. I had put my books and CDs on shelves and would sit, staring out into the night. Alice would come in and sit with me on the occasion, or she would drag me into her room and have fun making me play Barbie while she dressed me up. I looked gorgeous when she was done and she had fun but sometimes I just did not feel like it.

Today was one of the days when I was sitting with Alice, we had turned the couch that had been put into my room so that it faced out and we just sat there perfectly content.

Then I saw her go ridged out of the corner of my eye. It was one of her visions, she had been having a lot of them lately. When she came out of it she looked over at me grinning.

"What?" I said, facing her.

"Come on," she pulled me up.

"Alice, I really hate surprises."

"Yes, but I feel like playing dress up."

This could not be good, what had she seen in her vision? And why was she not telling me what she saw.

I was dragged down to her room, yet again. Just like my first day she shoved me towards the bathroom.

"Alice! What is going on?" I managed to trip as I went into the bathroom and Alice was not fast enough to catch me.

I could hear Emmett's booming laugh from down stairs, it was not like I was quiet when I tripped…

"You'll see just go take a shower and make it fast," she was positively beaming as well as jumping up and down.

I sighed, there was no use trying to argue with her, I knew she would win. I took a quick shower and towel dried my hair. Alice must have heard me finish because as soon as I was dressed she came into the room.

I was pushed into the usual chair that she used when she dressed me up, it had been about once every other day because the students were on break and Alice was bored. I crossed my arms while she started to blow dry my hair.

"Alice what in the world is going on?" I was begging now.

"No way, I won't tell," I could hear her giggling as she brushed through my now dry hair and sprayed it with something.

"Well, can you at least tell me how you are going to dress me up this time?"

"Casual, but I want you to look nice," I could almost hear her grinning.

Once she was done with my hair I felt her pull it back into a ponytail to keep it from my face.

I vaguely heard her mutter, although I am sure I was not supposed to, "need to hurry or else I won't be done in time."

Why was she in such a hurry, she usually took hours to get me ready, it had only been half an hour. After she smudged some eye shadow on my lids and light pink lip stick she stood back to evaluate her work.

"Okay," she walked behind me and pulled my hair out of the ponytail and began arranging it.

"You can look," I stood and looked at my reflection. The eye shadow was light blue to match the shirt I was wearing and my hair was framing my face. It looked like some make up that I would wear to school.

"Wow, Alice, it is really amazing what you can do with such little make up."

"I know," she sounded so happy.

I wondered what was up. Then she sat me down on hers and Jasper's bed, she asked if I was planning on staying with the family.

"Of course, I couldn't imagine leaving!" She pulled me into a hug and the shot up right like she had heard something. I had not been paying attention so I had no clue what she had heard.

"Can I go listen to my music now Alice?" Jasper had walked into the room and was looking at her curiously.

I knew she would not object so I got up and walked back to my room. The stars were bright in the sky as I turned up the volume, this allowed me to tune out everything around me but I knew I would hear someone in my room.

Then, I zoned out. I was determined to remember everything from being human. Even my childhood that was slightly fuzzy because it was difficult to remember.

The CD ended and I came back down to earth. I heard Alice's squeal and wondered what in the world could have her so excited. I would probably find out in a little while so I rose and grabbed another disk, placing it in and pressing play. Then, I was out again.

EPOV

I had no idea what I was going to say when I got back home. Probably have to apologize to everyone a thousand times, especially Esme. I knew that she was going to be worried sick about me.

I could finally see the house through the trees. I ran my hand through my dirty hair and wondered if I would be able to grab a shower before anyone noticed I was home.

Everyone's thoughts suddenly filled my head. Rosalie was frustrated with her nails, Emmett was playing a video game, Carlisle was reading, Esme was worried and cleaning, Jasper was talking to Alice who was about to bounce off of the walls. She knew I was home.

"Well, so much for that," I walked slowly, head hanging, up to the front of the house.

Alice came out and squealed as she tackled me, wrapping me in a hug. Then she looked up at me rather angry.

"Where in the world have you been?" she exclaimed.

I shrugged, not really knowing what to say.

_Edward, I told you! Go and talk to her now! She is up in her room, go and talk to her. She has no clue what to do now that she is one of us. You need to talk to her. Other than Carlisle you have been living with this lifestyle the longest now move it!_

Yep, she was a little ticked at me. "Well, can I at least take a shower first?" I gestured at my clothes.

"I guess," she rolled her eyes and moved aside to let me in.

As soon as I was in the door Esme came up and pulled me into a hug, I could see understanding in her deep topaz eyes. Jasper's only thoughts were of how glad he was that I was back. Rosalie blocked her thoughts from me and Emmett only said welcome back.

I trudged up the steps, grabbed some clothes and entered into the shower. The hot water was wonderful on my cold skin. I would have stayed there forever if Alice's thoughts were not demanding that I hurry up.

Reluctantly I shut off the hot water, dried, and got dressed. Alice was getting really mad at me for taking so long but I tried to block out her mind, I really had no idea on what to say to Bella.

I walked down the hall to her room, I knocked but no one answered. Slowly I opened the door, the room looked empty. Then I saw that the couch was turned to face the glass wall. Carefully I made my way to the couch. Bella was laying there, her eyes closed, her long hair hanging over the arm of the couch, and a CD player resting on her stomach.

Then I noticed that her eyelids were dusted blue to match her shirt and she had on a light pink lipstick. After further inspection I saw that her hair was slightly wavy as it hung freely. The colors on her looked stunning.

As I examined her position her eyes opened and she stared up at me slightly shocked that I was there.

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BTW, thx so much for reading.

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	7. Chapter 7

Three POV this time! I don't know why but I like being able to write so that all parts are seen. I don't remember what it is but there is some term where a viewer/reader knows something that the characters don't, like when the killer is in the room the victim is going into...oh well, next chapter!

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Chapter 7

BPOV

I almost thought that I was asleep but I knew I could not. The music was beating in my ears, I allowed it to fill my mind.

I wondered what had caused Alice's squeal and where Edward was. Did he hate me that much that he did not want to be around me even as a vampire? If so, then why had he and Carlisle saved me? Or was it that Carlisle wanted to save me and Edward's room just happened to be somewhere to put me?

I thought I heard someone open my door but I could not be sure. I was too comfortable to bother looking, I had been laying on my couch probably for the past hour or two.

It was then that it felt like someone was watching me. Reluctantly I opened my eyes.

The bronze hair shocked me for a moment. I blinked several times and realized that Edward was the one standing above me.

Carefully I stopped the CD that was playing. When I sat up and looked into his eyes I did not see anger or hate, instead I thought I saw a flicker of fear, and maybe regret. There was definitely sadness in those topaz eyes.

"Hello Bella," his voice was quiet.

"H-hey," I motioned for him to sit down.

It was rather awkward sitting there with him next to me. I was thankful when he finally spoke again. "I'm sorry," well not exactly what I expected to hear.

"About what?"

He ran his fingers through his hair, "for this," he motioned at me, "for turning you into this."

So he was the one to turn me, my thoughts flashed back to what Alice had said, _"He thinks that you would have preferred to die rather than become a vampire. Edward has always had problems with self loathing."_

"Edward," this was really awkward, I almost wished he had stayed silent, "I don't hate you. I don't hate being a vampire. I get a second chance at a life, how many people do you know that can say that they died and are living to tell about it?"

My bad attempted at humor worked and he gave me a crooked smile, if I had a beating heart I was sure he would have noticed the change in my heart beat.

"Please, forgive me?" I looked at him getting slightly annoyed, I just told him that there was nothing to forgive. He seemed to see what I was thinking and carefully took my hand, "I should not have run off like that. I left you alone when you are my responsibility. I am the one that wanted to save you and I am the reason you are like this. I should have been here."

It took everything I had not to wrap my arms around him and try to comfort him. This was a different side to Edward that, from what I could see, no one but maybe his family saw. Especially not people like me, the family was pretty cold to anyone they saw at school. Probably making it easier to hide their secret.

I was at a loss for words, what does a person say to that? He took my silence the wrong way, "I understand, I don't blame you for your choice," he started to get up.

"Wait!" he looked at me with darkened eyes, "Edward, there really is nothing to forgive! Everyone makes mistakes, it is human nature. Even though we aren't exactly human it is still the same."

EPOV

She was not like any of the other girls I knew. Most people would be disgusted that they had become the walking dead, but Bella, she saw it as a second chance. A way to start again.

I looked at her and all I saw was life. She was still quiet and kept to herself most of the time but tried to become involved with the family.

Most of all she worried about Charlie. Constantly asking Alice how he was doing. Alice was fairly honest with her, she told her he was doing as well as can be expected. This was completely the truth, he avoided looking at her pictures most of the time but occasionally he would sigh sadly and walk on by.

I could not get the image out of my head though. Bella standing there with that look of absolute horror on her face, like I had just told her that I had murdered her instead of biting her to save her.

Bella still did not know that it was me who turned her. She probably thought that it was Carlisle, which at the time had been fine with me but this nagging feeling would not go away. My conscience acted as if I were lying to her by not telling her it was me.

She was watching Television with Jasper and Emmett today when I came down from my room. I had just finished the easy homework we had been assigned and I had only been out of school for less than and hour.

To be honest she looked a little bored, she no longer had to cook dinner or clean or even do school work at the moment so she had nothing to keep her busy. I decided to make up for my lack of responsibility and take her hunting, and save her from Alice who was thinking about taking her shopping.

"Bella," she jumped when my hand touched her shoulder.

"Oh," she turned red, it had still not even faded.

"Come hunting with me, I know you haven't been since the beginning of last week and you need to," I stared into her now dark eyes.

She looked back at Jasper and Emmett who looked quite content with themselves. Then she tried to haul herself up over the back of the couch, since Jasper was on one side of her and Emmett on the other. Bella managed to get one foot over but her other foot caught. As she tumbled to the floor my arms struck out instinctively, again, and caught her around the waist.

She looked up at me, the crimson of her face deepening. I had to suppress a laugh. A thought flashed through my head, I was glad that the transformation had not gotten rid of the blush.

I smiled and righted her, she whispered and "I'm sorry," before heading for the door.

I had it opened when she got there and she looked a little surprised but then regained her composure. I wished that I could read her thoughts, it was so difficult for me not to become frustrated that I could not.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her along as branches and moss covered trees swam past us. The ground was wet from the melted snow and I had to be careful not to let her trip.

APOV

I skipped down stairs after organizing my clothes, I had been having difficulty finding things and was becoming rather annoyed with it.

Oh, I could not wait to take Bella shopping! I had seen her sitting on the couch with Emmett and Jasper on either side of her while they watched some odd show that the boys had recently taken a liking to.

When I got about half way down the stairs I heard something hit the ground and the front door open. I really thought nothing of it, Edward was probably going to check on Rosalie to see what she was doing with his car. Then, Emmett and Jasper came into view.

Where was Bella? I came up behind them and looked over the back of the couch. Bella was gone!

I placed my hand on the couch to steady myself as I took on another type of seeing:

_Edward was running with Bella trailing slightly behind him, holding his hand. A root came into view and Bella, who was not paying attention, caught her foot on it. Her hand slipped out of Edward's and braced herself for hitting the ground. Edward was there in an instant and caught her around the waist._ The scene changed: _Bella was crouched low, there was a small fox in front of her and she lunged forward, completely given to her instincts._

I came back, Jasper stared at me concerned. I sighed in frustration, Edward had taken her hunting. He had probably read my thoughts and decided NOW was a good time to make up for him being away.

Upon realizing my frustration, Jasper gave me a small smile.

He rose and came behind me. Jasper pulled me close and whispered, "sorry love, he took her. I really could do nothing to stop her, she hasn't gone hunting in a while. She really did need to go." His voice was soft and sounded apologetic.

I leaned back against him, "yeah, I suppose you're right." He kissed me softly before releasing me. "I don't suppose you would want to go shopping with me would you?" I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout.

He chuckled, "No love, but why don't you wait with me until they come back?"

Jasper grabbed my hand and pulled me to the couch, he then arranged me so that I sat on his lap. Emmett saw us and laughed before returning his attention to the screen.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for the delay, I had a lot of fun writing this chapter :D...Remember: Twilight is not owned by me.

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Chapter 8

EPOV

Luckily, or maybe not so luckily, Bella did not trip as we ran. This meant that I did not have to catch her before she fell and watch the beautiful blush creep into her pale skin.

Before we got out of the state she found a fox and I saw her turn to her instincts. She was just like us now but she seemed too beautiful to be a monster like I was.

I brought her to one of my preferred hunting areas, up in the mountains. The snow that sat on the frozen ground was fresh and powdery. I stared as she stood in amazement while she looked up at the mountain peaks.

"Wow…" she stood in awe for a moment.

That is, until a snowball hit her in the back. The ball shattered against her rock body into millions of tiny particles.

Bella quickly grabbed a hand of snow which she launched at me with speeds much higher than a major league pitcher. I side stepped it but did not see the second one she threw. The powdery ball hit me in the face, showering my hair with snow.

Then, the battle began. We launched snowballs back and forward at each other for a good two hours. Both of us ended up laughing the whole time, her because of all the snow that now made my hair look wet and white. Me because as the day wore on the snow in my hair melted and I shook it out on her, just like I had with Alice and Rosalie.

She screamed, sounding very different from her previous screaming, and ran, attempting to hide behind a tree. I came after her hitting her with another snowball.

This, a snowball fight, seemed so normal, so human. The power which we threw the balls of ice would knock a human out but the general concept of it.

We fell on the ground laughing. Bella's dark hair was thrown across her face as she tried to catch her breath, even though we did not need to breathe. Then she started to move her arms and legs.

I looked at her perplexed, "what?" she asked innocently.

"What are you doing?"

"Making a snow angel," she said it like it happened everyday.

"I thought you hated the snow?"

"I hate being cold and wet. Sunshine is much more preferable but the snow is so beautiful," her voice trailed off.

I laid back against the frozen ground and watched her silently. Suddenly she froze and looked slightly worried.

"What is it?"

She blushed, "I can't get up."

"What do you mean you can't get up?" why in the world would she not be able to get up?

"If I get up I'll ruin the snow angel," this was stated matter-a-factly.

I sighed and walked over to her, offering her my hand. She looked almost unsure of what was happening but then decided and took my hand.

I really did not see this coming, as soon as she had a good grip of my hand she pulled me toward her. I lost my balance and she rolled out of the way. I ended up landing with a face full of snow. I pushed myself up only to see her doubled over in laughter.

How could this quiet, shy girl all of a sudden become so bold? I pushed away the reasons because they seemed so ridiculous and admitting them as possible reasons would only have me hoping that they were true.

Bella saw the look on my face and took off running. I did not try to follow her, I needed to hunt and so did she. Alice was already probably very upset with me for stealing Bella away. Keeping Bella for a long time would only upset her more.

I ran down the mountain, to a less snowy area where some creatures could actually find food, and drained a few smaller animals. Bella, literally, crashed into me. She fell onto her back and looked up at me slightly worried. Then she looked up at me and crimson slipped into her pale skin.

Her eyes were now a golden topaz, telling me that she had finished hunting. I offered her a hand but she got herself up. Bella looked at me shyly as she brushed the snow off of her damp and blood stained clothes.

"Can you tell me something?" I almost did not hear her question.

"What do you want to know?"

"Where did it all start? I mean, who changed you, Carlisle, the others, or even me?" on the last part she looked away from me.

If I had a beating heart it would have just sunk to the bottom of my stomach, I really had been hoping to avoid this question for at least a decade.

"Carlisle was changed by a random vampire. He was attacked around the year 1663." Her eyes went wide, "when he realized what was happening to him he pulled himself away from all people, especially his father who had sent him on the hunt for the vampires and encouraged the killing of them. Carlisle tried to rid the world of his presence but as you can tell those all failed. At first he tried to ignore his thirst but it did not work, he ended up killing a herd of deer.

"Once he found that he could survive off of animal blood he studied to become a doctor, then Carlisle pretty much became immune to the scent of human blood. Aro, Marcus, and Caius were vampires that he stayed with in Italy for a while. They tried to convince him to drink human blood—"

"But he refused?" she cut in.

I nodded and started walking at vampire pace in the direction of Forks, "Eventually he found himself in Chicago where the Spanish Influenza had spread. He changed me when he found me in the hospital, apparently both of my parents were dead so I was an orphan," I shivered as I remembered the pain of the transformation.

"Carlisle changed Esme after she fell off of a cliff a few years later. Rosalie was changed a while after Esme," I laughed lightly, "she was supposed to be for me, but we see how that turned out. She found Emmett after he had been attacked by a bear and Carlisle changed him. Alice and Jasper actually found us; we do not know who changed them."

I had hoped she had forgotten about the last part of her question, I was not that fortunate, "And Carlisle changed me after the accident," I could not lie to her, it just seemed wrong.

"No," her head shot up to look at me, "Carlisle did not change you, I did."

Right then and there I wished more than anything that I could read her thoughts. She seemed to go through a long stream of emotions all at once, I was only able to recognize surprise and confusion.

I could only think that I was right, she now hated me. She knew the truth and now she was going to run away. Probably come to some other coven and live there, I would never see this truly unique girl for the rest of eternity I mean, if someone does not wish to be found by another they could accomplish their task. Bella did, after all, have eternity to run away. I could not read her mind so I would have difficulty tracking her.

I saw her take several deep breaths and then she spoke, "we should probably hurry home, Alice said something about wanting to go shopping soon," she said flatly.

Does she hate me? Is Bella shocked?

"Tell me one thing Edward."

"Why did you change me? Why did you want me to be saved if all you are going to do is loath yourself for it?" That really stung.

"I-I don't know," I picked up speed and she followed after.

It was not long before the house came into sight, the moon was starting to rise higher into the sky. Alice was standing out in front waiting for us. Jasper had his arms wrapped over her shoulders with his chin resting on her head.

Jasper looked at me in confusion, _what-_I blocked out his thoughts and went up into the house.


	9. Chapter 9

I ment to put this as an author's note one chapter 8 but it was really late/early and I wasn't thinking very clearly, thank you so much to those who pointed this stuff out to me:) . 1) Bella blushes because she is a new vampire, she is still very much like a human and the venom has not eliminated all of the blood in her system yet. 2) Bella trips a) because she is naturally clumsy b) vampire speed + Bella tripping, she will trip less and less but on the rare occassion(and I don't mean every other chapter I mean when she isn't paying attention (nervous, embarassed, upset...), every other century, or something) she will trip, but she will eventually gain vampire grace. 3) Bella did not know that Edward had changed her, it was always WE(Carlisle and Edward) saved her, Bella only knew that Edward had had some part in saving her. Also, she presumed that since Carlisle was head of the family/the one to explain everything to her that he was the one to change her. Hope that clears some things up and I'll never have a long A/N again...I hope.

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Chapter 9

BPOV

This is where the guilt sets in. I had no clue what to say to Edward when he said that he did not know why he had saved me. Really I had not meant to ask him the question it just sort of, slipped.

Then when he told me that HE was the one to change me, that just really shocked me. He changes me to save me but does not know why he saved me. Wow, and I thought high school was complicated.

I saw Alice and Jasper standing in front of the house waiting for us. Alice looked a bit worried and frustrated, Jasper just looked confused.

"I'll be right back," Alice ran through the front door, leaving Jasper and me standing there awkwardly.

"You should not feel guilty you know," his voice held sympathy and understanding.

"What do you mean?"

"I can believe it would be a bit of a shock to find out something you believed true to be false Bella. You can't keep on thinking that every move you make is wrong. A person can't live like that."

I sighed and walked over to sit on the steps. "Jasper, I don't know what to do. It seems like some days he hates me and regrets ever meeting me but on others I don't know," I buried my face into my cold, pale hands.

He sat down next to me remaining silent; there was nothing to say to my words.

"It is almost like I am missing a piece of a puzzle, or actually a few pieces." He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "Like why in the world did he change me? Why is it that he loathes himself so much? Is there a reason why he hates me? Did I do something wrong?"

"Bella," Jasper whispered, "he does not hate you. I know that for sure, and you did nothing wrong. An accident happened, there was nothing any of us could do about it. For the other answers, I'm afraid you'll have to get those from Edward."

I nodded and listened to the crickets chirp. The air was cool and still but dark clouds roamed overhead looking towards a nighttime rain.

The door behind us opened and a pixie figure emerged, "Well, since you went hunting today instead of going shopping with me," she pouted, "That just means that we will spend twice as long shopping tomorrow!"

Jasper laughed and patted my back sympathetically, either from our discussion about Edward or because I would be going shopping with Alice and Rosalie tomorrow for twice as long as Alice had planned for today. Silently, I cursed Edward for taking me hunting but at the same time I thanked him. I had fun even though there is still a large gap between us, it seemed to be closing very slowly.

Alice then looked me up and down, "have fun hunting?" she giggled.

I looked down at my clothes, they were soaking wet with snow and blood, both of which had not melted or dried. I sighed and glared at her before heading up to my room.

I took a quick shower and was going down to ask Alice if I could barrow some of that stuff she had used in my hair to make it look shiny one time. As I passed my room I heard music as clear as if it were playing on a pair of headphones. The music included some screaming and lyrics about tears.

I knocked on the door, "Edward?" This was definitely not his usual music! Normally it was some classical or older music. This was VERY modern and I never thought of Edward as someone who would listen to major scream music.

Carefully, I opened the door and saw him lying on the floor, his arms crossed over his eyes. I moved swiftly and sat down next to him. He acted like he did not hear me, I merely looked at him.

Edward had changed his clothes, he had on a pair of loose jeans with a white T shirt on. His bronze hair sat in disarray, something that I was quite sure could not be achieved using gel.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I did not hear him turn off the music which is pretty surprising considering there was screaming. He sat up and stared at me, almost like he had been expecting me. I stared down at my hands, embarrassed that I had entered his room without permission.

He used his finger to tilt my chin up to look into his eyes. They held the deep topaz of his kind, well, our kind. For a while neither of us moved, neither of us breathed. I was the one to break the silence.

"Edward, can I ask you a few things?" no sense in going around the topic, even though we have eternity.

His eyes darkened with sadness but he nodded his head, "did you, or do you hate me?"

He flinched, probably was not expecting me to be that blunt. "No Bella, I don't hate you. I never have," he sounded like I had just accused him of murdering my dad.

"The why did you act like you did when I walked into Biology?"

He gave me a crooked smile, "I was hoping you had forgotten about that. How do I describe this…ah, you know how everyone is different and how, for lack of a better example,_ dogs_ track people using their different scents? Well every person smells differently, you have not experienced this because you have not left the house for the most part. Then there is another part, like everyone has their favorite perfume that they are drawn to, no that's not right, well it is but it makes things complicated."

"You're saying blood smells like perfume?"

"No, what I'm trying to say is you know how there are certain things that people can not resist like a drug addict and heroine, they can't resist it. That was your blood to me."

"_So you're saying I'm a brand of heroine?"_

"_You are exactly my brand of heroine."_

"Is everyone like that? I mean, that um irresistible?"

"No, you're the only one that has ever been like that for me," he shifted uncomfortably.f

"Right then, in that room I thought someone must hate me. I must have done something wrong to make my life a Hell on Earth. It took everything I had not to kill you then or convince you to come with me at other parts of the day. I could have and there would have been nothing you could do about it," I looked up at him from the carpeted floor.

Looking at his ungodly beauty, there was no doubt in my mind, if he had told me to jump off of a bridge or follow him away that I would have.

"Is that why you loath yourself so much? Because you knew that if you wanted to you could have dried me at any point in time?" My voice was small, even to my ears.

"I am a monster, there is no other way to put it. People were not meant to kill others for their blood. I should not even be alive, I should have died in that hospital." His eyes became distant like he was trying to recall something. Edward's face seemed pained but I did not know if I should break his trance.

This explained so much, he had not told me it was him that changed me because he was ashamed that he had longed for my blood. "Edward," I whispered. He came back and stared at me. "There is no reason for you to hate yourself or even regret changing me. You were able to change me and not kill me, in all actuality, you should be proud of yourself. I know now at that moment when I thought that you hated me I should have been terrified, I should be terrified or something now but I'm not." As to where those words came from I have no idea.

Right then it looked as if a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. I knew I was staring, he was so odd. Hating who he was and saving me even though I could have died. I felt strange as thoughts ran through my head. For everything it was worth, I was glad he could not read my thoughts at that moment.

Inwardly I smiled, he would have already known everything I had just said if he had been able to read my thoughts. It frustrated him to no end that he could not enter my head. Maybe it was for the best.

My hand came out and lightly touched his perfect face. He looked startled but quickly relaxed at my touch.

EPOV

She did not hate me! She does not mind being a vampire! If my heart could beat, it would have jumped out of my chest. I felt like the world had just been lifted off of me as she spoke those words.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I did not see her hand. Bella's hand gently touched my face, soft and cautious. As if she was uncertain. I glanced up into her red eyes. She seemed scared or wary, it frustrated me not to be able to read her thoughts.

I felt so, _alive_, around her. She made me feel human again. What was the reasoning behind this though? Again I pushed away what I knew I wanted to be true and looked at the logical explanation, I felt responsible for her. She was someone I could open up to but that I needed to protect. If any harm, more than has already, were to come to her I do not think that I could live with myself.

I grabbed her hand and pressed it firmly to my cheek before kissing it softly, "thank you." I got up and caught a glance of light rays shining lightly through the clouds, guaranteeing a perfectly cloudy day. Then I walked out to check on my Volvo that Rosalie was currently having fun tweaking.

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Two notes sorry: I really could not resist putting the heroine quote in here. It is my fave Twilight quote, I do NOT own it(I'm not 100 sure of what Bella says but I know it is something like that) and I couldn't think of another way to explain it because well, that is the only thing that would come to mind. Thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews and plz, tell me if anyone is OOC.

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	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10! Sorry it took a little while. Remember if you recognize it from Twilight I do not own it!

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Chapter 10

BPOV

Shopping with Alice and Rosalie was interesting to say the least. They did not try anything on, they did not let me pick out anything, and they did not let me try anything on. That, and the fact that they went through fives stores in the time it would have taken to go through one.

I walked behind them as they grabbed clothes off the shelves and racks, only pausing occasionally to look at the clothes, mutter about something they had to match it or having to find something to match it. I gave up trying to ask them questions or anything.

Finally we were in the car with twelve bags stuffed in the trunk. Rosalie was driving and had become more accustomed to my presence, meaning she did not glare at me every time we were within fifty feet of each other. Alice suddenly went into a vision, we both looked at her concerned. This rather frightened me because Rosalie's eyes were not on the road but I kept my mouth shut.

When she came out of it Alice was grinning from ear to ear. "What?" I asked.

"It is going to thunderstorm tonight."

"So?" I looked at Rosalie and she too was smiling.

"Should I go ahead and ask Carlisle if he wants to play?" Rosalie pulled out her silver cell phone.

"Yeah, even though I know they are all going to say yes."

She did not stop grinning, "What is the big deal about a thunderstorm?" I asked again since the first time I had been ignored.

"We can play baseball during thunderstorms."

I blinked several times but decided not to question her further figuring that I would find out soon enough. As soon as we pulled up to the house everyone was standing outside waiting for us.

"Hurry up, we want to have plenty of time to play," Emmett called.

"Alright, alright, just let us go put up these bags," all of us rushed upstairs and dumped the bags on Alice and Jasper's bed.

I was thrilled when I realized that I had gone the whole day without tripping, maybe it was wearing off. Then, I shook my head. Tripping for me go away? Yeah right.

Emmet, Jasper, and Carlisle were gone when we came back outside. Rosalie, Alice, and Esme took off as soon as we were out of the door. Edward looked at me and smiled crookedly before grabbing my hand and pulling me into a run.

I heard thunder as we past through the trees. It did not take us long to get to where we were going. All but Esme were already warming up. I could just make out a ball flying between Jasper and Alice as they stood about twice the distance from a normal pitcher to batter. Then I saw that the plates were also placed twice, if not more, the distance than a normal baseball set up.

"Why do you have to wait until a thunderstorm to play baseball?" I directed at Edward.

"You shall see," he pushed a piece of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail during the run behind my ear, I tried not to let him see the shivers that ran through me when he touched me.

He ran towards the field and I sat by Esme on a rock a few feet away.

"You're not going to play?"

"Oh no, I referee. You should see them sometimes, so competitive it is unreal," she shook her caramel head.

The family divided into teams and the game began, Emmett came up to bat with Alice pitching. Emmett hit it into the trees with Edward taking off after it. Emmett ran through a couple of bases when Edward came back through the trees holding the ball high.

Jasper slapped his hand as he passed, Emmett seemed more than a little annoyed. I laughed as they made there way back into position.

The game continued until Alice came up to bat, she picked up the bat and swung it once then dropped it.

Everyone crowded around her and it did not take Jasper to tell that, like always, everyone was filled with curiosity and concern. When she pulled out of it she seemed a little bit worried.

"There are some others passing through here. They heard us playing and want to see what is going on. There are three," she said in a whisper, "but they are not like us, we'll have to watch them carefully."

"We will. They should not stay long but we will continue playing and see what they want when they get here," Carlisle's word was final.

They continued to play but Alice kept looking over her shoulder cautiously, Edward followed her gaze one time and froze. I followed after and saw three figures emerging from the trees.

The front one was a medium built male with glossy black hair, seeming to be the leader by the way the other two were following after him. One of the other two was a female with vivid orange hair who looked rather like a feline. The other male was oddly plain for a vampire with soft brown hair.

As the group moved closer I saw that there eyes were a deep burgundy, very much unlike the Cullens' but distinctly like mine until, as I have been told, they turn.

The group approached us confidently. We gathered into a small area in the center of the field. As they came closer I could have sworn I heard Edward's low growl and then he pushed me behind him slightly. All of this was done as he glared pointedly at the brown haired male.

The leader and the woman looked at Edward puzzled but the male smirked. Edward nodded at Carlisle, which is probably something that the rest of us were not supposed to see.

"Hello, I am Laurent," the front male was the first to break the awkwardness, "This," he gestured to the feline like female, "is Victoria." She nodded in greeting but her eyes were cold. "And this is James," a breeze blew by and James stiffened, staring at me.

Carlisle introduced each of us, being very casual as he said each of our names, I was very thankful that he stuck mine in the middle because first and last names in a list stick out the most. Edward glared at James the whole time and kept me close to him.

This was really strange, I could not help but wonder what James was thinking that infuriated Edward so. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I did not hear what was going on until Edward was pulling lightly on my sleeve.

"Let's go Bella," his voice was a _very_ forced calm.

"Where are we going?" I looked around stupidly.

"Back to the house," I finally saw Laurent and his coven heading through the woods behind Carlisle and Esme.

"What was James thinking Edward?"

He turned around and looked at me surprised. "You saw that?"

"Well it is sort of hard not to notice when you are keeping me so close and glaring at James with a look that would have sent a human running for the hills."

He smiled his crooked smile and then his face became serious again, "he was thinking some rather _Newton _like thoughts about you."

I looked up at him puzzled but he grabbed my hand and pulled me along until I started running. Then he dropped my hand but glanced back at me every so often, probably to make sure that I did not trip. I felt rather triumphant when we finally made it back to the house, I had not tripped the whole way. I actually enjoyed the speed of the run.

Everyone was sitting in the living room. Carlisle was explaining to Laurent our diet and how we managed to stay in the area so long.

"The humans don't notice the animals missing because there are wolves and bears around here that kill them any way. Not to mention that there are hunters as well that sometimes leave their prey as a dead carcass."

Laurent then asked Carlisle a question but I did not hear it. James was staring at me intently. I could feel Edward stiffen beside me.

James then rose and came over to me, he offered me his pale hand before asking, "Can you please walk with me?"

I tried to look away to look to the others, begging for some clue as to what to do but I was already on my feet heading out the door. The whole time I could feel Edward's eyes bearing into my back.

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Thanks to those who read and thanks to those who review. Plz, let me know if at any point someone seems OOC or if there is something I can improve in. 


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry all, writer's block hit...it happens to us all but for me that really isn't much of an excuse :p This chapter was just over all difficult for me to write.

Okay, someone was wondering why Victoria wasn't angry about James' "Newton" like thoughts. Victoria can't read minds, she doesn't know what he's thinking. Put it this way, even though Jessica was drooling over Mike, Mike still thought Bella was gorgeous and wanted to go out with her. Mike will always think that way and James sees Bella(even though she is supposed to be plain and everything) as beautiful. Not to metion he is a tracker and she hasn't been a vampire long so she still has some blood in her and that attracts him as well. If that sounds confusing, plz say so cuz sometimes my thoughts are;)

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Chapter 11

BPOV

James pulled me towards the door, people seemed to be doing that a lot these days, and there was nothing I could do to resist. I had not grown accustom to my vampire strength. I knew it was shallow but as I studied him I could not help but think they he could not have been very good looking as a human.

At the edge of the trees he whipped around to face me. "How old are you Bella?"

Automatically I replied, "seventeen."

He sighed, "I mean how long have you been a vampire?"

"Oh," I felt slightly like an idiot, "Only a few weeks, why?" Why would he care how long I had been a vampire?

"And you are part of this," he seemed to search for a word, "coven?"

"I guess, yeah."

"And do you have a mate?" I must have seemed confused, "I mean are you Edward's mate?"

"What!?!" I jumped back startled.

Did vampires have mates? Why would he presume Edward to be my mate? Is the person who turned you destined to be your mate? I shook away the question, that can not be right because Carlisle turned Rose and she was considered his daughter.

"Are you with anyone?"

"N-no," I managed to stutter.

He smiled, "You could join our coven Bella," he reached to touch me, "we wouldn't curve your diet."

I took a quick step back from his had, "I'm already with the Cullens."

"You don't have to stay with them Bella. They managed to survive before you came along."

I could think of nothing to say, he seemed to sense this and continued, "They probably got you to join their coven so they could increase their numbers. You know the larger the coven the stronger, and rogue vampires are usually frowned upon." His laugh was musical like the others but it was false.

"Laurent likes you you know? We knew you hadn't been a vampire long, you still smell like a human. I must say," he touched my arm, "You do smell delectable," I stepped back quickly.

He called after me as I walked, vampire speed, back to the house, "Our offer still stands. I think you would be a wonderful addition to the coven and we are more than ready to welcome you with open arms. Who knows, you may prefer our diet."

He came close to me and whispered in my ear when I reached the door. "Who knows what or _who _you could find on our travels?" I found myself thinking, gratefully, that my blush would soon fade.

EPOV

Now this was ridiculous, before it was mainly Newton thinking these thoughts about Bella, then it was James, now Laurent was thinking them too! Well, James was only attracted to her still slightly human smell but Laurent…

My fists clenched as I attempted to block out their thoughts and focus on not ripping them to shreds. James had a mate for heaven's sake! If only Bella did not still have the slight remnants of blood in her system, stupid trackers!

Alice looked at me from her position on Jasper's lap. She looked concerned, _they want Bella Edward. They want her in their coven, that's why James is talking to her now. She refuses, naturally, but I don't know how persistent they are planning on being._

Great, they wanted Bella and really there was nothing I could do about it. If she chose to join their coven then it was her choice, there was nothing I could do to stop her.

The front door opened as Bella walked in looking more than a little flustered. James came in just as she took a seat next to me, the only available seat near the family.

Laurent looked at James and seemed to understand that she refused their offer, this caused him to be annoyed. This was caused not only because Bella refused to join but also because James had not been more persuasive. Victoria was oblivious to their plans.

I glared their way and instinctively put a protective arm around Bella. She looked up at me confused, then she followed my line of sight. She knew that I knew what went on between her and James. I saw the faintest hint of pink flush into her cheeks, unfortunately it was fading.

The day was wearing on and the night was going to be soon following, that was when James decided it was time to go. It was only his and Laurent's thoughts that revealed their frustrations; James' directed towards Bella, Laurent's towards James.

We were just out the door when I could no longer see Bella or Laurent. I smelled them near the back of the house, Laurent's thoughts showed that he only wished to speak with Bella so I sighed and leaned against the house.

BPOV

I was thrilled when James announced that they would have to be going. There had been this thick air of awkwardness in the room since our little "conversation."

I was following behind Alice when a hand pulled me towards the back of the house, I realized that it was Laurent and not James so I relaxed a little bit. At least I was almost positive that he would not try to bite my head off if I refused his offer.

Laurent finally turned to face me, "Bella," he smiled warmly but it did not reach his eyes.

I looked at him to get him to go on, "James probably told you that we wished for you to join our coven, am I correct?" I nodded and he continued, "I was hoping that maybe you might consider it, it is all up to you of course."

"I have already told James my answer, I plan on staying with the Cullens," I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Why are you with the Cullens Bella? Did you anger one of them and they lost control, or did you cut yourself and they couldn't resist the blood? Maybe your blood was too irresistible for them?"

I swallowed hard but remained silent.

"James and Victoria do not know this but that's what happened to me. My blood was seen as irresistible by a vampire widow. Her husband had mysteriously died and at the time no one knew that she was a vampire and I was working for her," he seemed distant.

"They, they saved me. I was going to die and they saved me," the words were out before I could stop them. It was like I was defending them or something.

"I hate to tell you this dear one but they probably saved you so they could increase their numbers. The larger a coven the stronger. Rogue vampires are usually frowned upon."

"You are beautiful Bella," he took a step towards me.

I stepped back and he laughed, "you have no reason to fear me Bella." His words seemed true as I looked into his red eyes.

He brushed his black hair out of his face, there was not a doubt in my mind that he was beautiful unlike the rest of his coven. His pale olive skin looked flawless and lovely with the contrast of his glossy black hair.

"Will you join us Bella?" I shook my head, "well then would it be alright if I could come visit you sometimes, I wish to learn more about you." This time his smile reached his eyes. I nodded, what were the likely chances that he would find me again, after all I had an eternity to avoid him.

I stepped backward, cursing as my foot caught a fallen branch behind me. I fought to regain my balance but Laurent caught me.

"Still a little clumsy too I see," he looked down at me.

I pulled away once I had regained my balance, "That was not from clumsiness, that was from not knowing that the branch was there."

"Whatever you say dear one," we started to walk back towards the others.

Edward looked thoroughly ticked off, Alice seemed slightly worried. "I hope to see you soon dear one," Laurent smiled before bidding the rest of the family good-bye.

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Like always, thank you to those who read and thank you to those who review. And like always tell me if someone seems OOC and what not. hehe, Eclipse, if you have not read it, was great. Not what I was expecting at all so I'm going to shut up now before I spoil it.


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